hi

hhmm, i think nobody comes here anymore..
its growing cobwebs. but its fine. coz i really haven been writing.

am still working on my powerpoint for meeting with the managers tomorrow.
yawn.

pro

My daily dose of 'Message From God', a service provided by Facebook:

Give some of that weight where it belongs, - to God, and have faith that what happens is for the best, whether you understand it or not.

Went for a facial to 'sanitize' my face and get rid of all the germs that has been making my face their home.. it was a great experience and a really short one, compared to the money paid..

i truly appreciate professionalism.
the lady who served me was really knowledgeable, pleasant and pretty.

we all need to be an expert in our own field.

looks like i have quite abit of work to do.
right. im going to do some reading now..

ciaoz,

some thoughts..

there are only 2 things that will give u trouble:

1. money
2. relationships


i have been intoxicating myself with chick flicks talking about love, men, women.. that sorta thing.. and it has gotten me thinking about things.. it kinda like, rekindled the passion within me to Love and Be Loved!

sounds dumb right. but its good to be dumb at times.
so i will just allow myself to sink into dumbness for a moment.. hehe..

i do believe that there is no such thing as THE Perfect Man in your life. No Perfect Marriage. No Perfect Relationships, although we all wish to achieve that in our lives..
i used to be very idealistic about relationships, and so, im very fearful of the commitments, pain, conflicts that i or we might go through, and so, i don go into any relationships.. no frills!

i guess im more realistic now?
i hope i am..

because im beginning to lose the fear about such things.. because they are all part of the package of 'Love'. It is okay to feel bored with the same person, to lose the excitement after being too familiar with another individual, to eye on other prospects/attracttion, to be distracted, to feel confused if this person is THE right person, and wonder if there is someone out there more suitable.. and entertaining all the 'What If' questions and 'I Wonder' stuffs..

as long as both parties are willing to talk it out and mutually agree to put effort into sorting all these issues out.. things will work out somehow! it does test our creativity.. but, keep trying!

Nothing is easy and nothing is perfect. So when hard things and imperfection comes, its nothing new.. We should be realistic with expectations.. and take time to understand the dynamics of the relationship..

in the end, i think, all i want, is someone whom i can totally connect with (even if, he only connects when he feels like it.. give the guy a break aye?), to rely on and have the security that he will always be there to support and listen to me and be there for me..
even if he has some intolerable irritating behaviors, i guess its 'passable' if he has enough brownie points to make up for it.. ahha..!!

my new revelation.

yes.

there is a big kid in every big guy.. so just dont try to man those kiddy area..
take things easy eh..

i hate control freaks! haha.
so i shant be one :)

i have said so much. and im still not in a relationship..
well, no hurry. seriously...

taking my own sweet time to d.i.s.c.o.v.e.r

all the best people!

recap

Here i am! Back to my own space.. kinda forgotten about this place, and its been quite some time since im here.. writing..

just got back from the gym and i am really liking it. i have always been at the gym actually, since Poly days in Spore, i have been at California Fitness, going for all the classes. When im back in JB i was with Clark Hatch and Excite Fitness, but wasnt really regular there.

And when im in KL, like now, i joined Fitness First! Wow... am pretty amazed at how much i enjoy going to the gym. Although im eating more than i burn (hehe. guilty confessions), but going to the gym makes me happy.. the sweating experience and seeing hot men and women in their exercising gears seems therapeutic for me :)

I am very regular with Fitness First now, as it is just opposite my work place, like 3mins walk away.. and im really pleased with the facilities, services and instructors there..

When i was younger, i used to think that going to the gym is cool and i go to explore the experience, but i hated exercising then.. had to force myself to go.. when i was in JB and growing fat, i go to the gym to do some crisis control.. before i become all 'rounder'.. it was still somethin i had to force myself to do..

Now that i am slightly older n still putting on weight, it became something that i thoroughly enjoy doing.. i look forward to the sweating sessions and just hanging out at the gym. and i dont have to force myself!

I was just reflecting at the treadmill today, how much i enjoy doing this now..

And all i can say is, good habits really take a long time to develop.. if something you know is good for you, and u dont really enjoy doing it, u just gotta keep going at it.. if ur patient enough, one day, u may just like it! Without your conscious realisation, you just developed a good habit!

Yes! haha.. i need to keep up at this.. a little folding of the hands will make me all lazy again..

i am loved.

first.
i have a cellgroup in teenz who loves me so much, they had an entry for me here:
http://fungreativegals.blogspot.com/


next.
i have a TNT Pelangi cellgroup who loves me so much, they did a video for me.
actually, it was Wei Ting's idea. i really i have to thank her and all those who chipped in to do the video.

very creative idea.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IsUMiISnEA


Enjoy it, as much as i did.

twoseven

Life has its ups and downs.
Unexpected turn of events.
But it has to be colourfuL!

*

I am now 27.

*

Thank you for all the love that the people around me has shown me.
Those of you who cared and invested in me has given me new perspective and strength in viewing and dealing with issues in life.

A year older.
A year stronger.

Looking forward to a year of excitement in Him.

Happy Birthday To Me.
:]

it is complicated

somehow, it is indeed therapeautic to just be able to come to this space of mine, and write how i feel about things. i do feel bad that i come here only when i am not very happy with life, or when i do not know how else to express myself.

life can be so complicated that it is complicated OR so simple and still seem so complicated..
humans, especially woman, think too much..

There are so many things that I want to do and accomplish. so many dreams and unheard cries.
I am always listening to people. understanding people. But who actually listens to me?
and so what if they listen to me.. even i cant help myself in certain situations.
therefore, i have kinda given up in saying what really matters to me.

i am just very upset with everything in my life. the word contentment just does not apply to me now. i am edgy nearly everyday.. and i snap at anyone that upsets me.. and for all the smallest reason..

i wish im a little more independent.
and i can prove that i am no longer reliant on my parents.
that they do not need to worry or provide for me anymore.

that i can provide for myself and they would trust me to take care of things.

i miss the days when i was working in singapore.
renting my own room, earning my own money, doing my own part time tuition, signing up for courses that i like, saving money to buy what i want, bringing money home and buying nice things back, planning my own study schedule, entertainment schedule and stuffs like that.

i had the space to make mistakes. to learn how stupid and how smart i am. to discover myself.
to take time to groom myself.

im just very cramped up now..
there is no room for mistake. every mistake is magnified to its finest details.
i work better with encouragement.
negative reinforcements and fear does not work well with me.
i totally hate it.

hate. hate. hate.

its always about everyone, other people and everybody.
accomodating to everyone elses time.. and people are always interrupting my decision making. always giving suggestions and changing my plans. and i am a pushover. so i gave in. and gave in. and gave in.

to the point where im already sick and tired.
and therefore, anything would tick me off.

i know i would be fine in awhile.
but juggling between identities is not a fun thing.

maybe its just a mid 20s thing.
whatever la.

i just don like my life now.