i am loved.

first.
i have a cellgroup in teenz who loves me so much, they had an entry for me here:
http://fungreativegals.blogspot.com/


next.
i have a TNT Pelangi cellgroup who loves me so much, they did a video for me.
actually, it was Wei Ting's idea. i really i have to thank her and all those who chipped in to do the video.

very creative idea.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1IsUMiISnEA


Enjoy it, as much as i did.

twoseven

Life has its ups and downs.
Unexpected turn of events.
But it has to be colourfuL!

*

I am now 27.

*

Thank you for all the love that the people around me has shown me.
Those of you who cared and invested in me has given me new perspective and strength in viewing and dealing with issues in life.

A year older.
A year stronger.

Looking forward to a year of excitement in Him.

Happy Birthday To Me.
:]

it is complicated

somehow, it is indeed therapeautic to just be able to come to this space of mine, and write how i feel about things. i do feel bad that i come here only when i am not very happy with life, or when i do not know how else to express myself.

life can be so complicated that it is complicated OR so simple and still seem so complicated..
humans, especially woman, think too much..

There are so many things that I want to do and accomplish. so many dreams and unheard cries.
I am always listening to people. understanding people. But who actually listens to me?
and so what if they listen to me.. even i cant help myself in certain situations.
therefore, i have kinda given up in saying what really matters to me.

i am just very upset with everything in my life. the word contentment just does not apply to me now. i am edgy nearly everyday.. and i snap at anyone that upsets me.. and for all the smallest reason..

i wish im a little more independent.
and i can prove that i am no longer reliant on my parents.
that they do not need to worry or provide for me anymore.

that i can provide for myself and they would trust me to take care of things.

i miss the days when i was working in singapore.
renting my own room, earning my own money, doing my own part time tuition, signing up for courses that i like, saving money to buy what i want, bringing money home and buying nice things back, planning my own study schedule, entertainment schedule and stuffs like that.

i had the space to make mistakes. to learn how stupid and how smart i am. to discover myself.
to take time to groom myself.

im just very cramped up now..
there is no room for mistake. every mistake is magnified to its finest details.
i work better with encouragement.
negative reinforcements and fear does not work well with me.
i totally hate it.

hate. hate. hate.

its always about everyone, other people and everybody.
accomodating to everyone elses time.. and people are always interrupting my decision making. always giving suggestions and changing my plans. and i am a pushover. so i gave in. and gave in. and gave in.

to the point where im already sick and tired.
and therefore, anything would tick me off.

i know i would be fine in awhile.
but juggling between identities is not a fun thing.

maybe its just a mid 20s thing.
whatever la.

i just don like my life now.

better after entheos

ha.
im back.

funny how the speaker spoke about anger and it hit right deep into my soul.
good thing i managed to deal with it before it overwhelms me.

see, anger is not a sin.
but how we deal with anger is important.
so as for now..

im learning.
very important lesson.

good.
im happy.
very very happy.

*

i am eating durians already.
goodbhye to sorethroats and flus..

haha.
yay.

anger bug

i've been bitten by the anger bug.
angry angry angry.

im happy, but im angry.
how ironic is that.

blame it on the hormones or something.


argh!

can reality be better than dreams

was doing research on my friends wedding script and i stumbled upon this phrase:
"you know you are really in love when you cant sleep at night, because finally, reality is better than dreams.."

hhmm..

i dont really understand what it means.. not to mention agreeing to it.

*


perhaps i have too many things to do nowadays, and im easily irritated.
i just dont really like it when people keep changing their plans and therefore affect my plan for the day. anyone at all.

it just irritates the hell out of me.

i realised that i dont really like changes very much.
especially when things are pre planned and i have expectations.
if it doesnt deliver, i would just boil.

so dont tell me anything unless you are ready to do it.

im learning how to deal with disappointments.
events, people, work, emotions.

things just dont really turn out the way you expect them to be huh.
continue to read Secret of the Vine.
im learning from it.

im not really targetting at anyone.
so don get offended yeah.

my conclusion.
im not that sure that reality can be better than dreams.
cynical.

go to work happy