crave

a really good Fish and Chip would make my life a little better.

a really good mocha mudpie would make my life slightly better.

a good hug would be nice.

a vigorous swim would be good.

a sound sleep is what i really need.



i shall go sleep and look for the food tomorrow.
another day of indulgence for stella.

who cares?
i deserve it.

for all the emotional suffering i am going through right now...
a lot of self indulgence is good.

s l o w

i am irritated with people who work slowly.
people who cant decide fast enough, when the need is screaming out loud.
people who procrastinate.
people who waste other peoples time due to their incompetency.
people who are plainly wasting my time.
people who are not delivering the services i am paying for.
people who take forever to fill your cup.



there are some people that i just dont want to work with.

everything is getting on my nerves.
u find them at work, u find them at church, u find them at dining places, you find them everywhere.


i am short of patience.

getting IT out of my system

i need to blog today.

never have i felt the need to express, yet i can find no one to express to..
i have a few choices.. but i dont really feel like talking.
maybe except to God..

and i am having a headache, which is rare.


frustration is lurking and i am trying to manifest in a very subtle and controlled manner, which is not working very well.

and therefore i am mean and gloomy these days.
if im frowning, try not talking to me and dont cheer me up.


no one sought my opinion when they decided to change the policies.
no one informed me of the possible changes taking place.
no one discussed with me the change in roles n functions in the team.
i am in the position yet have NO SAY in whatever the decision is.

i am only to follow instructions and do things according to your way.
i see the possible problems and crisis and i will be the one shouldering it, yet it is not my decision in the first place to set the policy in place.
and my voice is not heard at all.
whenever i open my mouth, it will spark off an argument and things would get ugly.

why???? i don understand!
i am only stating my thoughts.
i dont want to quarrel.

is there no ground for a proper discussion??


i think it just reflects how terrible the management is.
i am utterly frustrated and angry right now.

how long will i be living in the shadow ...
i would either get too used to it.
or i would just get out of it..

i dont want to listen to any advice right now.
nothing will change.
i will just do what you want me to..

but i do hope that the higher powers will intervene accordingly.

i am so angry right now.





not happy.

tired

i had my nails done last night and it looks really pretty now.
i did my sauna with eevynn and had a very good japanese lunch @ Ajisai too.
i just have to spoil myself a little because i have been working too hard these days.

i was just thinking about it. i work 6 days a week, the only rest day i have is spent with the TEENz and Saturday night service. the rest of the non working hours are spent thinking about work and planning upcoming events.. and only sometimes, i try not to think about work at all.

and that is why, i feel that i really need to treat myself better.
i deserve it. ha.

am looking for more ways to spoil myself...
suggestion anyone?
heee....

discomfort

my stomach feels funny.
my eyes feel funny.
my throat feels funny.

my whole body feels wrong right now.
i wonder whats going on.

Tagged by Sue Ann

Directions: Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog or a note on Facebook with sixteen random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose ten people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment ("You’re it!”) and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you. Since you can’t tag me, let me know when you've posted your blog/note, so I can see your weirdness.


I've read the instructions from Sue's blog.
So now, here we go...

SIXTEEN RANDOM "FACTS" ABOUT ME.

1. I have always liked the smell of petrol and exhaust gas.. When i was younger, i will take a deep breath whenever my dad starts the engine (giving them stupid excuse why i will go in the car later.. after the engine has been started).. hehe.... I've stopped ever since i knew it was bad for my health.. lol
   
2. I USED to love chewing on my TOES.. till the age of 6. The skin seems to taste better there.. LOL
   
3. My motor skills are kinda underdeveloped. I cant balance / control stuffs properly (except the car). And that is why i never fancied computer games / ball games... i dont really like moving too much and that is due to fact no.4
   
4. I was a super inferior and introvert person due to my OVERweighted, OVERobesed and OVERflabby body ever since i was young... im way past that stage (of mind) now.. haaa...
   
5. I would like to be a TV Presenter / Host or just EMCEE for selected events. if theres a chance to be professional, i may go into it... depends :)
   
6. I do not have a favourite movie, song, artists.. in fact, i would jumble them up sometimes.. and i wonder why my brothers are so good at it
7. i like guys who's got good height and good skin. fair skin!!! arrghh!!! a lil tan is good too. hehe..
8. I like Maths, Science, Psychology and reading biographies of successful people / companies.
   
9. I like to take adventure and thrilling rides! Trying out new stuffs always excite me..
   
10. Except gadgets n all the techy stuffs.. I am like stoneage of the 21st century u know.. only use the basic functions of any good phones, pdas, laptops etc.. some people get really irritated about this... i am trying to change!
    
11. I attract girls / females. Somehow. i dont know why.. dont ask me why... haha... it just happens!!! lets see. i studied in a girls school. i work in a fully female environment. most of my customers are females. i lead a female cellgroup. i had more than one female expressing interest in me, i am single.. hhmmm.... wad went wrong.. haahahhahahahaha :P
    
12. I unconsciously touch / whack people when i am talking...and it gets more intense when im excited.. haha.. that is a really bad habit. im not 'touchy' or am i intentionally molesting a person, but it just happens.. maybe its my job u know.. always helpin people to ease their muscle aches.. or maybe im too 'warm' .. i dono. i just need to be extremely aware.. sometimes it does send the wrong message to the conservatives..
    
13. I am always attracted by the brains than the brawn...
    
14. I would like to see myself being more ladylike.. years of wearing shorts under the pinafore with thousand of girls has left me oblivious to my sitting n standing 'style' haha... i should practice wearing more skirt.. haha.. (just kidding)
    
15. I want to have my own car.. badly. I am tired of sharing cars and driving our problematic cars although it has served our family well.
    
16. I want to continue studying... but i am not too sure what yet.. haha..
    

OKAY. I AM DONE!!!!
YAY!!!!!


And now, the 10 human beings I wanna tag and why.
(im skipping this part.. haha.. i don really wanna tag anyone... haha.. )

a.n.t.i a.g.i.n.g

i Have been busy busy busy indulging in work these days and have not looked at myself properly at the mirror for quite awhile.

and when i took time to study myself in the mirror....i am seeing the effect of aging! *GASP*

i am extremely determined to start my anti aging campaign very soon.
i don't want to grow old, flabby and wrinkly.. not so soon!!!

wish me all the best.
i am getting vain, which is a good sign to my 'bo chap' attitude for the past 25 years... haha..

will reveal my secret anti aging program once i am seriously in it yeah.. haha..

Get-a-way

Rawa Island - 20mins boat ride from Mersing, Johor.
A fine island with soft sands, clean beach, lots of hammocks and beautiful sceneries.

It is rather pricey, but its definitely worth the money.

Sunset...

The trip was great because we had great company.

From left: Desmond, Victor, Vincent, Ee Vynn, Stella & Yan.

Jun Xiang was the photographer..

Highlight of the trip:

a) Star gazing (we caught a few shooting stars)

b) Skinny Dip (except with clothes on.. haaha)

I did this for the very first time. Very liberating experience. haha.

c) Crab catching at night

d) Hill climbing

e) Kite Flying

View from the hilltop. It is a wonder what nature can do to a person.

I would say this is a good trip coz we all had good fun, good food, good fellowship and most of all, a good time to do alot of thinking, planning and self reflection. I personally spent quite abit of time on the hammock and handing my life once again into His hands.